| A Parental Lecture 21st Century Style by Richard A. Dodge |
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When my youngest daughter entered secondary school early this month, I took her aside for a parental lecture. "I want you to choose a respectable suitor from your freshman class at high school, my dear," I said, knitting my brows so my youngest daughter would know that her old dad was about to talk about something serious. "There will undoubtedly be some unscrupulous adventurers attending your school who will be attracted to a beautiful and intelligent young girl named Dodge." My youngest daughter expressed her indifference to the conversation the only way a teenager can express indifference to a concerned parent and that is by wrinkling her nose and pursing her lips in preparation for blowing a great big bubble from the large wad of gum that was permanently stored in her bulging left cheek. I shut my eyes and hunched my shoulders in preparation for the explosion. After it came, I sighed deeply. "Are you going to talk to me again about how gerbils have babies, dad?" Zara asked. "I though you were going to talk about my new laptop." I suddenly felt my wallet shrinking. "We will talk about that later, dear," I said. "Let's talk about our lineage." My daughter looked startled. "What lineage?" she said. "Our Lineage," I replied. "Are you talking about the DNA Ancestry Project?" Zara asked. "Mom's already taken a swab from my cheek and sent it away for analysis." I was astounded. "Your mother did what?" I asked. "Talk to her about it, dad," Zara said jumping up and running off before her old dad recovered from shock. "What about the laptop?" I called out after her in a desperate last minute attempt to get more information about what my dear wife was doing while her husband was at work. "I want a three gig Panasonic Tough Book," Zara called out over her shoulder as the bedroom door slammed shut abruptly terminating our all-too-brief conversation. I learned three important things in three minutes on that fateful day. 1. Talk to you wife before talking to your teenage daughter about anything. |